When was the last time you bought a tie? You need a new one. Women like men in ties and we notice how often you wear which ones. I’m just saying.
These printed ties from Cyberoptix Ties (pictured above) are fantastic. The designs are smart — get one for the DJ or hypochondriac in your life. There’s a group discount if you want to trick out your wedding party with, say, the meatgrinder ties. There’s even a tie for Scott Beale. Only $30!
This dotted Brioni tie is classic and looks expensive without being too outrageously priced for a luxury item. Monaco, Montana — you could get laid anywhere in the world with a tie like this. Someday soon, when I make a pile of money, I am going to buy Ted a Brioni suit. James Bond wears Brioni suits. Hot.
Some other ideas: Geoffrey Beene makes kicky ties. This black on black Emporio Armani tie would look sexy with a black suit.
Tie styles come and go. Most men opt for the more classic narrow to medium shape. Skinny ties are still in vogue for younger dudes but you need to have the complete skinny-tie look: trim shirt and pants, and if you wear a jacket it better be slim and almost too small. Since the 1970s wide ties have been the provenance of clowns but I say wear what you dig.
One last thing: no sheer shirts with ties, OK? If you put on a dress shirt and you can see the outline of the outline of your torso, your undershirt or chest hair, it’s too thin. Thanks.
