Molly Bloom knows style

There are topics in life that are more interesting than underthings. Perhaps that is why so many dudes let their drawers languish, nary a thought as to how they might look when undressed to reveal… snowflake boxer shorts with snow men printed all over them?

Boxer shorts aren’t as sexy as they used to be, back when your first stopped wearing those Fruit Of The Looms your mama bought you. Back then anything other than tightie whities seemed hot. But there’s a lot more out there than plaid boxers and white briefs.

Briefs are kind of good, don’t you think? There’s nothing wrong with black briefs, unless they’re stretched out or fraying or otherwise tore up. Do not even entertain the thought of white briefs (you know why). General rule: if the name printed on the waistband is stretched to a funny font, it’s time to go up a size or go on a diet.

A slightly more modern choice is boxer briefs, which employ the tightness of the brief and the length of a boxer. They are a fine choice if you’re of taller, long-legged stature. Otherwise they seem too modest and remind me of a man-girdle.

Trunks are short-legged and tight but not briefs. They are a straight-girl favorite (based on a non-scientific poll I conducted). You can’t go wrong here.

Boxer shorts do seem to work well on fuller figured guys who might like to be a bit covered up. And maybe you are just a boxers sort of guy, and that’s fine too. If you insist on wearing holiday boxer shorts, please pack them away with the jack-o-lanterns or tree ornaments so they are only worn at the appropriate time of year. And those Valentine boxer shorts from an old flame? Throw them away. Nothing says “gift from my ex” quite like novelty underwear.